Sober Mornings

All day I sit and think of everything you have put me through. I never had you not one day. I never felt you. I gave you my all. Tears, sweat, pain, my heart. And never did I feel you the way I wanted to. I always had doubt. The terrible pain in my stomach of disgust. I knew it was not true no matter how hard I tried to convince myself. Maybe I just have the wrong idea from you, maybe I'm not right.

But as I think of all I've given to you I drink until I just forget and everything is a big joke. I joke of the idea of you and how much you have betrayed me. The way you make me feel when at my best and the way make me feel when I'm at my worst. You're the worst type of high because when you are taken away from me I don't know how to function. So many times that I have given in to you and it just ends me in the same place... disaster. So I drink and think of it as a joke and I don't care at that moment because all you have brought me is pain and this liquor is the cure to my heartaches. I do and say what ever I want because it should not matter anymore...

The next morning I wake up with a terrible headache but the pain in my heart hurts more. Everything comes back, like it never left. I remember more and more and all that this drunk night has given me is a day of pain. This day after, all I do is lay and know how I will never forget you, because now that I have tried time and time again you will never leave. I know you oh too well, you have taken the best of me.

I wrote you this in hopes that I can move on from this phase. Maybe one day I can see you better but right now all I'm doing is destroying myself...

So goodbye Love, please find someone else...