Signing off

Seriously, What is wrong with me?

I feel like I've put myself in a position where I'm just prone to loneliness.

every night I analyze my life and everything I do wrong and things

that happen to me that give me reason for the lack of happiness in my life and its never clear. I honestly feel like I should just shut everyone out and what's meant to be will be because I am tired of fighting and I no longer believe in it. I'm leaving everyone alone I am so sick of searching for an answer when I dont even know what the real question is.

I've decided to take a different path in life, I know no one will understand and that is

perfectly fine. I need to do some soul searching because as much as I want to be successful in life I just dont want to waste my time in school studying things I dont have interest in. I wish I knew

what to do with my life right now but everything is scattering in my mind. I wish things were easier but then I'd be asking for too much. I just wish there were different signs as to what I need to do.

As of right now nothing is right and it kills me, I wish there were atleast

one stable aspect in my life right now that was just there and I felt good about it but no everything is just wrong. And I hate that no one understands me but the thing is I just dont let anyone in enough to even try... I dont even have an interest in being with people anymore cuz everyone is just so blind. So I settle for less and I dont even care cuz I never give anyone all of me. I dont know how I destroyed myself in a year without a care in the world... this is me signing off to the world until I find myself...